The New World Diary of Theo Cratz Aged 32¾

Jehovah's Witnesses love to dream about what life will be like in their "New Order."

Here is an alternative scenario, presented by a former JW (Chuck Doherty) who is very familiar with the day-to-day peculiarities of life in the already existing new world society.

Part 4

Week 7 

My friend Tony was playing around with this race car he found, when the gas tank blew up and burned him real bad. None of us had any idea what to do, since we all thought that we couldn't even get hurt any more. So, one of High Leader's Attendants decided that the best thing to do was just kill Tony, and let Jehovah resurrect him in better shape. I didn't know what to say, but the Attendant went ahead and shot Tony, and then they took his body back to the compound where it will probably get resurrected in a day or two.

Week 9

We are still waiting for the resurrected people to show up, but High Leader tells us that they will be here shortly. High Leader also said that he will begin assigning permanent housing soon, so we can move out of the dorm rooms.

Week 10

I can't believe what happened today! One of my buddies from work got hauled off to AdComm today. They said he was practising OldThink, and would be counselled. Anybody that ever goes for counselling is never seen again, but the brothers told us it is because they are reassigned to another area.

High Leader introduced the language guidelines today. Since there are so many people who speak lousy English, and it's real hard to understand them, he decided to make English mandatory for everybody. He also introduced the Book of Approved Words, which his MS staff has been working on for a few weeks. The idea is to get rid of all unnecessary or confusing words, and make speaking easier and more Theocratic. Did you know how many extra words there are for "good"? Tons! From now on, if we want to say that something is good, we just say it is good; simple as that. We have a month to submit any suggestions for words that should be included in the Word Book, and after that we will receive a reproof point every time we use a non-good word. We should all be using only TheoTalk from now on.

The End